all he can think of is elysium's hands around his neck, squeezing as tightly as he can, his expression remorseful. the feel of his sword sliding through elysium's flesh, until his body fell limp. how thorns lowered them both to the ground so he could hold him until he was forced to move forward.
it keeps him distracted, but moving, blow after blow, until he finally drops his sword to fall onto the ground.
Elysium's expression now is anything but—perfectly blank as he holds his sword to Thorns' neck. Maybe it shakes, maybe it doesn't. Chalk it up to exhaustion. ]
logically, he is aware the elysium in that world was fake. but he can't help but think of what other ways he could have handled that situation, that would head lead to a different conclusion. he was confused and trying to figure out how to formulate his thought returning here, and that simply grew over the past few days. ]
The same thing. Not to leave.
[ his hand covers the wound again, and he finally gets up to his feet. ]
[ There are things Elysium still blames himself for, too. Things he'd apologised to the people here for despite them having no recollection or knowledge of. It's not that he doesn't understand—it's who it's coming from that makes it so frustrating, toting that sense of powerlessness along with it.
His gaze flits back to Thorns. ]
Okay. I won't. [ He holds his hand out, palm up. ] … I'm still alive. Just like you.
but like always, he will eventually come back up from the surface. it will at least be easy to tell what the loss is, considering the entire corazonix is gone. ]
Considering Elysium did this to him he is just going to keep holding Thorns' hand until he says something first. He really does not have the pep in him to do another introduction like before, so this is a good thing… in the context of this situation…
[ He follows with the energy of a puppy that feels as if it has done something wrong but refuses to leave his side nonetheless. One word and he might be frightened off, though.
Still, now that I no longer have to fear either of them being emotionally vulnerable: ]
I was ready to turn on my companions during our expedition. I probably would've turned on you too, if you'd been there. But you weren't—you were in a coffin at the top of the mountain. [ … ] All our most important people were, and we had to take all of you back.
There was a choice we had to make before that. Whether we wanted immediate vengeance for the circumstances we were put in, or if we could endure to understand why. If I weren't stopped by the people I was with, if I weren't reminded of you—I would've gone for the former.
he really wasn't expecting him to explain it more in detail. his grip tightens for a moment before returning to a more relaxed hold.
So that's what he meant... ]
... Like I said before, we woke up at a brothel. We each had a different identity and memories. I was... someone who spent a lot of time there, apparently.
[ yaywon assigned him whore. but it's also why he got flustered when the topic was briefly touched on, because it was such a 180 from how he actually is. ]
We remembered someone killed us but not who, and we had to figure it out to settle the karmic debt. You were the one who killed me. You did it because I was trafficking humans to be experimented on.
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all he can think of is elysium's hands around his neck, squeezing as tightly as he can, his expression remorseful. the feel of his sword sliding through elysium's flesh, until his body fell limp. how thorns lowered them both to the ground so he could hold him until he was forced to move forward.
it keeps him distracted, but moving, blow after blow, until he finally drops his sword to fall onto the ground.
this.... this too is fine. ]
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Elysium's expression now is anything but—perfectly blank as he holds his sword to Thorns' neck. Maybe it shakes, maybe it doesn't. Chalk it up to exhaustion. ]
If I kill you too, will you feel better about it?
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Why would I ask you to do something that would hurt you?
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Then don't blame yourself for something I don't.
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he moves to sit up, letting the sword tip dig into his neck to draw blood. ]
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but that's not what thorns is doing, really. he is trying to reach for where elysium's hand is over the hilt of the sword. ]
I didn't–want you to leave.
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You let go.
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[ there's no point in denying that.
his hand moves to his neck to stop the blood flow, before he just lets it drop to his side. ]
But that doesn't make what I said less true.
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[ His gaze flicks to the splash of red trickling down Thorns' neck, stays there, then looks away. ]
You said that in past tense. What do you want now?
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logically, he is aware the elysium in that world was fake. but he can't help but think of what other ways he could have handled that situation, that would head lead to a different conclusion. he was confused and trying to figure out how to formulate his thought returning here, and that simply grew over the past few days. ]
The same thing. Not to leave.
[ his hand covers the wound again, and he finally gets up to his feet. ]
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His gaze flits back to Thorns. ]
Okay. I won't. [ He holds his hand out, palm up. ] … I'm still alive. Just like you.
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Okay. I'm going to the river.
[ he is being really casual about this but he is bleeding from the neck. ]
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[ Okay……
Drops his hand again. ]
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They can both go to the river then?? ]
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Stay here.
[
and then he just hops in. gooby ]
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He just continues to hold onto his hand? Unless the river doesn't let him for some reason? He will stay… ]
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but like always, he will eventually come back up from the surface. it will at least be easy to tell what the loss is, considering the entire corazonix is gone. ]
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does this mean he has two normal arms or is he just one armed thorns now ]
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Considering Elysium did this to him he is just going to keep holding Thorns' hand until he says something first. He really does not have the pep in him to do another introduction like before, so this is a good thing… in the context of this situation…
He waits. ]
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[ he is... wet. ]
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Still, now that I no longer have to fear either of them being emotionally vulnerable: ]
I was ready to turn on my companions during our expedition. I probably would've turned on you too, if you'd been there. But you weren't—you were in a coffin at the top of the mountain. [ … ] All our most important people were, and we had to take all of you back.
There was a choice we had to make before that. Whether we wanted immediate vengeance for the circumstances we were put in, or if we could endure to understand why. If I weren't stopped by the people I was with, if I weren't reminded of you—I would've gone for the former.
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he really wasn't expecting him to explain it more in detail. his grip tightens for a moment before returning to a more relaxed hold.
So that's what he meant... ]
... Like I said before, we woke up at a brothel. We each had a different identity and memories. I was... someone who spent a lot of time there, apparently.
[ yaywon assigned him whore. but it's also why he got flustered when the topic was briefly touched on, because it was such a 180 from how he actually is. ]
We remembered someone killed us but not who, and we had to figure it out to settle the karmic debt. You were the one who killed me. You did it because I was trafficking humans to be experimented on.
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